I had been driven a long way to any army recruitment center by grandma and uncle Allen. I was nervous, because I wanted this, to be able to join the militia, but I had been previously denied. As we pulled into the driveway of the building, which looked very much like Nanna and Pappa's old place only much larger, I beg to remember my previous attempt to join the military. I had tried numerous times, but the last time I had come here, the recruiting sergeant was a large, cold and intimidating man. All of the soldiers I saw were males, and they all semed to have a darker type of personality, with shadows across their faces. They were a bunch I would not want to be left alone with in a dark room. My application was scorned and rejected by the recruiter, officially due to my asthma and medical problems, unofficially because he thought me too weak. I was then all but literally kicked out of the building.

I had gone home, dejected and willing to give up, attempting to find other careers, other paths to follow. In the end, I felt miserable, useless and out of place. I knew that my future, my path lay in the training and experience I could only get in the military. If I was to truly do what I was meant, was created to do, this was the path I had to take.

Without my family's knowledge, I had asked my grandmother to dive me all the way back to the recruitment center, which was hours and hours away. I hadn't done any training or preparation; the decision was spur of the moment. This had to be done now; if it was not now, it would never be and my life will have been a waste, my purpose unfulfilled.

For some reason, she had Allen drive us, who was doing nothing but complaining, continuously reiterating things like, "Hope this isn't a wasted trip," and "I'll be pissed is this was a waste." He sounded exactly as I believed my dad would have if he were here instead. Grandma fought with him, saying that whatever happened, however this turned out, iwas something I needed to do, and therefore was not a waste. I tried to ignore them for most of the ride.

The driveway and building seemed lighter this time, an as we exited the car, a female captain greeted us. I told her I was here for militia recruitment. She smiled a secret smile and asked if I had applied before. I replied that I had, but was rejected for medical reasons. But, I quickly proceeded to tell her about how I was a former cadet, my past proficiency as well as my present. When I was done, the woman smiled more and shook her head. "It we accept you, it is based on who you are now, not who you were." She proceeded to guide me inside the building and into a basement-like mess hall where there were both men and women this time. A couple of people made comments about there being a new recruit, but the captain didn't correct them or say anything as a few people wandered over to say hi. The captain then told me to sit down while she got the paperwork. I sat down across from a girl who had long blond hair and blue eyes. She was exceedingly pretty and friendly. I was about to ask why her hair was down instead of in a bun, when the sound of my uncle's voice caught my attention. At first, I thought it was my dad's until I saw it was Allen.
"We've come so far to bring her here. Could you please just take her, even for a little while so we don't feel like coming this far was a waste? That way she can finally get over this and start looking to do something more practical?"

I felt so hurt, embarrassed and angry at his words and stormed out there to apologize to the captain. I told her that if I was accepted, I wanted it to be based on potential and my own merit and hard work, not on someone else's pity. Allen got mad and stormed back to the car where grandma had been waiting silently the whole time. As he did, the captain reassured me that "While I sympathize with the long trip and the troubles you all went through to get here, you will not be accepted merely for that one reason." At this, she held out a rather large pill bottle that had several different shapes and colours of pills in it. She told me that everyone who needs medication keeps them in this bottle. I began to panic as I realized I hadn't brought them. In fact, I had brought absolutely nothing with me, save the clothes on my back. The captain told me I could always leave, then come back, but I would not be guaranteed acceptance of I did that. If I stayed now, however, I was accepted. Grandma finally spoke up and offered to drive home, then bring back my meds and anything else I thought I needed. Looking at the pill bottle, trying to decided, I heard a crowd of laughter come from the mess, drawing my attention there where I saw my new friend waiting for me at the table.

I suddenly realized that the meds were mixed together because no one took; they weren't necessary anymore. A smile broke onto my face and I shook my head. "No thanks grandma. I won't be needing them here, and if I do get sick again, they have everything I need to help me get better again." Grandma smiled and said ok as she and Allen, still grumbling and muttering, got into the car and drove away. The captain led me back to the mess; as she did I could not help but think of all the people I will have hurt, worried and angered by doing this. My sister would be proud and happy for me, if not a little sad; my dad would be angry and disappointed, likely felt betrayed; my mom would be hurt and heartbroken. Despite the pain this knowledge caused me, I was at peace with it. As we emerged into the mess and I went to sit and talk with my new friends and comrades, I knew I was finally where I needed to be to get where I needed to go, to do what I was mean to do.







Upon waking up this morning, I again felt spiritually alive and at peace, which I haven't really felt in over a year. I felt as though I had finally be accepted into something that had before only every been failure, rejection and disappointment for me. I felt as though I had just come through a long tunnel and had finally made it thorugh to the end, back into the light. Then Dante's last line from the Inferno popped into my head: "Quindi uscimmo a reiveder le stelle." And once again beheld the stars.